Another Reason Why Parents Think Video Games Suck

Overheard at arcade:

Kid: “Daddy, daddy! I got first place!”

Dad, disbelievingly, not necessarily “encouragingly”: “No way!”

Kid: “Well, I did. And I kicked your butt, too.”

--Submitted by TM

The Angel Did Say

Outdoors of a major shopping mall Macy's, as "The First Noel" plays, a young lady on her cellphone: "You're supposed to LEAVE the shit there, then I will come GET it."


--submitted by DD

Ain't No Curse in Cursive

Here's a paper that was returned to my son, Jack. 

Sigh...

Pampers or Huggies?

On Craigslist:
Special Needs Chicken please give her a loving home

friendly chicken, wears diapers, easy to care for

--submitted by LO

Hey, Nice PIN!

Safeway clerk to me while I enter my PIN at the register:

"The man with the nice pin that I like."  (uncle's Shriner pin worn on jacket)



--submitted by DD

Do They Come With Cages?

Someone on Craigslist is looking to unload a few monkeys.  Really.  Blankets is beyond interested and asks me to proofread her email to the seller.  Here it is, used with permission:

"I have never owned a monkey but have always wanted to.  I live on an acre and have had animals my whole life, birds, horses, rabbits, cats, dogs, rescued squirrels, bats and other animals. I grew up next to a dairy so I have spent a lot of time around cattle too.  My point being I love all animals and am interested in hearing a little more about yours.  Are you asking rehoming feels and if so, how much?  Do they come with cages?  Please let me know."

And Youre Mama Dresses You Funny

From a utility box in Portland, Oregon. Sometimes an apostrophe error can really mitigate an insult.

--Submitted by DD